At that time, my age will be 40. Significant number for anyone, especially for those believe in 'life starts at 40'. For me, it is not to wait that 40, but I need to prepare for what I am going to be at that age – if Allah permits me to live at that stage. I saw people keep mesmerized with those with big cars, big houses and big titles. While those attributes are dedicated for one general term – worldly matter – how should I see and compromise? Shouldn't I have that kind of material achievement?
Not to my passion at this moment! I review lectures from Hamza Yusuf and several other scholars. I agree that ISNA President is elected among 'their people' who are scholarly deserved, since this country should be led by those who understand its people. It is their own people. Dr Ingrid Mattson is one of those.
I reflect to myself. Should I go for scholarly competency ? Not for leadership but for Islamic work that I should do. A this moment, I would say yes since this is what needed among Muslim community. We can be activist but when you have knowledge, your activism will bring more sprout and yield. I don't want to repeat my routines until the end of my life at the age of 60 or 70.
On that premise, I should plan my stay here in the States to be valuable enough to increase knowledge and experience. I should plan to utilize all facilities provided by Allah in this opportunity. If I don't go for it, I will repeat the same mistakes I did when I was here from 1999-2003. At least in those years, I learned a lot about life and how to be matured in a complex world. I think I bring to my home country something – but that is not enough. Not enough.
What should I pursue? These are what I am thinking into:
- Al Maghreeb Institute
- Zaytuna Institute
- Systems Thinking
- Master and PhD in Systems Thinking
- Get part time or full time job – so I can contribute more in the future.
Please make du'a I am able to grab all those opportunities. In order to get different result, I need to change my style and habits. Better towards Him by 2020.